Tag: Friendships

PLAIN SPEAKING & COUNSEL II: The question of friendships; Acquaintance, close/inner circle friend or none of the above!


While we are called to love one another even those who persecute us because they too are God’s creation who He loves, not everyone is meant to be your close friend. While Jesus had many acquaintances he only had a few close friends. We note how he sent out 70 disciples to minister and had 12 disciples who walked closely with him, even among the 12 there were 3 who stand out as exceptionally close to him within his inner circle namely Peter, James and John.

Thus it is worth noting that our Messiah had different levels of friendships. As we live consecrated lives unto The Lord, the urgent, persistence call is to “depart! depart! from uncleanliness, you who carry “holy vessels” of the Lord ( Isaiah 52:10-12). To put this into action there are many things one is inclined to do which are a result of obeying the commandments of the LORD. Those that we allow in our inner circle of friends whether we are leaders or congregation members could be helpers in our holy walk or distractors and at times we only realise when it is too late. But there is hope, we serve a God of second chances who teaches us to learn from our adverse experiences.

If we are not doing so, we need to pray and ask Father who should be among our close circle of friends. If you have suspicions or discomfort about specific people, do not ignore them as this could be a nudge for you to be careful or start paying attention to what The Lord is trying to tell you. In fact get on your knees daily until you get your answer. Some people may want to be your close friend but are they sent by the LORD? Are they meant to be at the acquaintance level, rather than inner circle level or kept at a distance for reasons you don’t need to blurt out but highlighted by Holy Spirit enough times for you to take a serious stand.

As well as praying about specific situations, praying for the gift of discerning of spirits or a greater measure of it is important for we do not fight flesh or blood, but satanic principalities and powers.

In these last days, we must guard our hearts seriously and be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit. It is not about being fearful of people but walking in wisdom for there are wolves in sheep’s clothing, satan as a roaring devouring lion counterfeiting Jesus the redeeming Lion of Judah.

Also it is exhausting and an unproductive use of your time (it is set for God’s purposes, remember) to be here, there and everywhere being with people who may not be sent by the LORD and going places under their influence where God may not have sent you.

Prayer:
Father I commit all our friendships into your hands. You know us, who we are and our purpose in this world. Father I pray that you will minister to each and every one of us and give us wisdom and discernment in how to conduct our interpersonal relationships so that whatever we do with whoever we are with is your will and gives glory to your kingdom, in Jesus’ name Amen.
You are blessed, determine to stay blessed.
Deborah E. Nyamekye

©Deborah E.Nyamekye 21/11/2015

Also see other topics in category: PLAIN SPEAKING & COUNSEL 

PLAIN SPEAKING & COUNSEL V: Close Friends by Divine Appointment

Want Close friends made in heaven? Make the Holy Spirit your best friend.

If Jesus needed a close circle of friends to walk with, twelve disciples and then three who were even closer (Peter, James and John) so do we who are his.

Seek the LORD and ask Him who should be among your close friends or in your close inner circle. Trust me, certain people do not qualify and also be warned that not everyone wants you to prosper or fulfil your identity.

When Jesus went to the garden of Gethsemane, he told some of the disciples to wait and took three with him, Peter, James and John who were the only ones that he said the following to them “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here, and watch with me” (Matthew 26:38).

These were the only three disciples he chose because they were destined to walk with Jesus in this manner by God. Could it be that there are people chosen by God to walk with you in different ways? Those who are mere acquaintances, close friends and some even closer? I believe so.

Not every one should known hidden things about you nor your secrets or highly personal issues. We have to walk in God’s wisdom and discernment in relation to how we relate with others.

Could it also be that as Jesus had Judas in his entourage for only a season because he served a specific purpose only for that season (which was to betray Jesus), that likewise there are certain people in your life and mine only for a season and serving a specific purpose in that season after which they are to leave? I believe this is the case.

In my experience even as a Christian, there are people who were friends of mine, in fact the ones I am thinking of approached me so we became friends but as I grew spiritually and if I told them what God was doing in my life, they would at the time be congratulatory but then after a while appear not to want to know details of things I have birthed to the glory of God. I told them those things not to boast but because as I thought they were close friends, I would want to share or discuss it with them.

I noticed they would never bring the subject up and would become more scarce in my life, failing to stay in touch as frequently as when I did not have anything significant for them to envy or feel threatened by. At times I would discern in their voice and attitude that they were not really happy for me. I thought back at one of them in particular and how she said God sent her to me in a time when I was quite distressed and she was a great source of encouragement to me and I do believe that God sent her for not only did she encourage me but also prayed for me many times.

However when by God’s delivering hand I began to change my manner of speech and attitude to one who was highly self encouraging and unrelenting in fulfilling prophetic destiny, as well as being one to minister to her and encourage her as well, I realised sadly a change in her attitude towards me or her desire to be a consistent friend.

I never told her I did not need her encouragement and prayers, but something in her could not accept me anymore because I had changed. Honestly I struggled to understand and was often hurt by certain mannerisms and attitudes that surfaced as a result of me speaking about what God was doing in my life or refusing to stay in the “poor me, pity me” mindset and attitude.

I did forgive her as God gave me a depth of understanding of why she was acting that way and I began to pray for her. However now having had a certain measure of God given discernment, I have stopped taking initiatives to sustain “close” friendships when I felt they are not bothered anyway to make an effort to stay in touch. In addition, I don’t hesitate to let people be who start acting strange and think it necessary to pull away from me or those I personally feel led to pull away from if I discern that they don’t like the new me who I know is the real healed me coming to the fore.

If a close friendship begins to fizzled out and you know your conscious is clear and you have not deliberately hurt the person or are in anyway responsible, let it end its course. I have realised that at times certain friendships are for seasons and some people cannot be close to you anymore as you advance into the purposes of God. If you dare forcefully stay in touch with them it is to your detriment especially if you discern the spirit of jealousy, envy and bitterness.

Cry out for the gift of discerning of spirits and the Wisdom of God. In these last days, whatever you do make sure you are doing all that is humanly possible in relation to Godly Christian living in order to stay strong in the LORD and in the power of His might! The people you hang around with, call your close friends or confidants will play a great part in determining whether you stay strong and on course to fulfilling your destiny.

It is only in staying close to God in the power of the Holy Spirit that you will know who God has sent into your life for mutual personal and kingdom purposes, what these are and for how long. You will also know how to interact with people as according to God’s will so that you do not miss God induced mutual opportunities and blessings.

The Holy Spirit knows the wisdom and will of God and reveals them to us (I Corinth. 2). Much prayer for the fruit and gift of the Spirit will develop your nature to be as one who is shrewd as a serpent and gentle as a dove as well as one who has God’s perspective on things. The wisdom of God and seeing things God’s way will therefore keep you one step ahead of the enemy at all times.

Satan and his demons are pacing about through people and situations seeking whom to devour. The Holy Spirit should therefore be our closest or best friend first and foremost and through him we will be able to discern or know who should be our confidant or close friend. In addition the Holy Spirit will give us sensitivity as to where we should and should not go. We are therefore protected from danger and opening ourselves up to situations which include ungodly alliances that are not God’s will for us.

I can testify that God has been bringing me genuine friends who are excited about and share my vision as I do theirs because we understand each other as we are equally yoked spiritually, by this I mean that the Holy Spirit is as much their best friend as mine.

Thank you Holy Spirit!

Come Holy Spirit, have your way! God we ask for a greater measure of the gift of discerning of spirits this day, so as to know who we should walk with closely.

We ask for God’s choice of close friends in our lives who are the type of friends we are equally yoked with.
Change us if in anyway we fall short of the type of friends you expect us to be to others.
In Jesus’ mighty name we pray Amen

I love you LORD❤️
©Deborah E. Nyamekye 15/07/2016